Most kids fantasize about the day someone finally punishes their parents for all the hurts, slights and times they had to eat their vegetables. But daughters of toxic moms can experience a life long struggle with the idea that perhaps someone should have called the authorities about a terrible home life, neglect or abuse.
So take a deep breath and transport yourself back to that time when your mom was at her worst. She is grabbing the wooden spoon and you are bracing yourself when – WAIT! There’s a sharp series of knocks at the door.
Imagine opening that door and seeing a special police force created solely to bust Toxic Moms. What would the police say to your mom and what would she say back?
With your child’s eyes survey your childhood home. What would the police notice and question? Would your mother confess or be defiant? Would she try to escape? If she were arrested and led off in handcuffs what would be the last thing she would say to you as she was led away? What would you say back, knowing that the police would protect you?
This journal assignment is sort of like writing a small play. The great thing about creating a play is you can choose your characters, move them around and make them say or do anything you want. So what do you want to cover? What do you need to explore? What history needs to be rewritten by the adult you?
Don’t be afraid. It’s just pencil on paper you can erase or toss. But you just might discover that in reenacting and controlling the scene and dialog you are freeing yourself from old ghosts. Or at least I hope so.
Toxic Mom Toolkit 
I actually have a pretty funny story about in which I was yelling out to my neighbors to call the sheriff ’cause my mom would brush my hair with a lot of gusto.
I love that story! Thanks for writing it up so we could all enjoy it and learn from it!
My mom would fight off the TM police like an angry tigress believing in her own pure justice, using any back-handed angle to swipe back at them. She most certainly wouldn’t let them near me, and that would probably be the most protected I would ever feel in my entire life because nothing would be able to enter, not even true justice. If they did manage to subdue her and take her away, she might plead with me as if she were truly innocent to save her, and I would actually start to believe her and maybe take a few steps to reach out, but maybe now I might be able to stop myself and just act helpless, like there’s nothing I can do, shrug my shoulders, and say, “Justice? What can you do about it?”